Recent Posts

In my quest to find the “now” in things, I’m discovering that (for me) any anxiety or stress that I feel is often rooted in the (self-appointed?) pressure to be great. The pressure to be perfect. Whether it's the pressure of being the perfect boss, the perfect dad, or even the perfect blogger, this pressure comes internally and, if I think I’ve missed perfection, it manifests itself in ways that may be…let’s just say less than pleasant. [more]

Yesterday, in my Facebook profile, I wrote a note about how I was tired of people who care too much about cars. Then I sat down to write this column, which is about how, after four weeks on Craigslist, we've said good-bye to our poor, down-and-out Dodge Grand Caravan--the first car we ever bought together, and the one we used to bring both our babies home from the hospital. Then I thought I was living a double-standard, because clearly I care a lot about cars if I was going to sit down and write a whole column about one. [more]

I have been hearing from more and more parents of kindergarteners about how rigid and, frankly, unrealistic the expectations placed on five-year-olds are becoming. Maybe it's just my county and state, but I hear a familiar lament every time I talk with a parent in the walk-up line, or talk about school with the parent of a kindergartener. I have to say my memory of kindergarten is foggy, but also different from what I perceive happening now as a parent. First of all, I didn't go to all-day kindergarten, the way kids in my state do. [more]

This weekend was a long and difficult one, because we spent much of it doing the dirty work of parenting: enforcing consequences (also known as punishment). L. did hardly any work at school last week, and his teacher sent it all home ("Who's being punished here?" Scott wanted to know, which was a pretty good question), and we had to exact consequences on L. for a moment of extreme folly last week that ended up costing us $120. But enough said. Remember that adage parents like to pull out when they're discussing consequences with kids? [more]

I sat in the bathtub after a long Saturday of cleaning. Lying exposed in the mildly hot water felt as if I was thawing. I stared at the silvery faucet and shower head, and the tiles. A thought came to mind, “You should slide under the water.” I indulged the thought for a moment. What would it feel like if I allowed my head to go under water? I denied the suicidal contemplation. My husband told me not to write about this, but I thought, “Why not?” There are many people who have thought about taking their own life. [more]