My husband looked at the caller ID. “It’s your mother.” I grabbed the phone and stared at it. I wasn’t going to answer. I wasn’t going to answer because I knew she wanted to wish me a happy mother’s day.
But something compelled me to pick up.
“Hello.”
“Lia, happy mother’s day,” she said.
I didn’t want to say it back but I did, “Same to you.”
“Are you getting ready for church?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“Enjoy your day,” she said, before hanging up.
I got into the shower and began to cry. I cried because I feel sorry for my mother. I am sorry that she has been abusing crack cocaine for over twenty years. I am sorry she has been beaten and abused. I am sorry that she can’t find the resilience to bounce back.
Then something said to me, “Why are you crying? Remember you don’t love her. You don’t need her.”
But the moment she hung up the phone, I realized I do love her and I do need her.
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