Professor Mom

Chronicles the life of a mom, teacher, and writer trying to stay sane amid the chaos of daily life.



mouse's picture mouse

We had a period of time like that when we were deciding about moving out of Canada, all of it focused on trying to get Scooter into the right setting for kindergarten. We had a few moments of doubt when we had him in the developmental preschool here (the teacher seemed so ill-equipped to deal with his meltdowns and frequently set up situations in which they were inevitable--and would then insist on talking it out with him right then, which only made them worse). But then we had a great kindergarten year, so it redeemed our decision--for the time being. I'm holding my breath to see which 1st grade teacher he gets and if she'll be willing to hold to all aspects of his IEP, such as movement breaks. I figure we're bound to have up and down years, but it definitely doesn't mean I look forward to them. And I'm sure I'll be questioning our decisions again each time.

(Which is a long way of saying that I feel you on this, even with our milder version of the experience, and wonder if the doubt will ever completely go away.)

beck's picture beck

It's so BRUTALLY hard, deciding on what education our kids should have - my kids go to a small, poor, rural public school which SHOULD be quite awful but has turned out to be friendly and nuturing and full of African drums and Icelandic dancers and yet there's always this haunting feeling that if I lived someplace different, they would have a BETTER education.

Aliki McElreath's picture Aliki McElreath

I know--it's impossible to predict what any given year will be like. I suspect we will struggle most years, which is part of the problem. Academically, there's no continuity and very little growth but only because L. sees it all as invalid and unimportant. If you pair that with a teacher who just doesn't know how to begin to motivate him, you have disaster.

I know what you mean, beck. Just last night Scott and I were watching some silly HGTV show about a family living in the Bahamas and I had this crazy, fleeting notion that if we only lived in the Bahamas all would be well.

Omaha Mama's picture Omaha Mama

I think it will be good. It sounds like a solid plan and since you've put so much time and thought into it, you've obviously weighed all alternatives. Your kids are lucky that you put some much time and energy into that just for them.
Something you didn't mention, but I'm sure you thought about too, is the gift you are giving them as siblings. Neither of them has to be compared or contrasted to their sibling by either staff or peers. Their school story can be their own, without any affect from being the social one or the quiet one or the tiny one or the quirky one. That will be good for them. When they come home and share their days with each other, neither will have to feel that the other had any negative impact on each others' day. So many siblings have to deal with that on top of everything else and you've lifted that pressure for them. Good for you on that front.

I hope you can be at peace now, knowing that your decisions are made and you have time now just to breathe. Ahhhh.

And really, wouldn't we all be better off if we picked up and moved to the Bahamas?! I could totally home school there. No problem.

Aliki McElreath's picture Aliki McElreath

Oh yes, life would be better for ALL of us if we lived in the Bahamas (except it seems from the HGTV show that homes sell for over one million dollars).

We thought about the other benefit of this--the one you mention. We do think it would be good for both kids to have their separate educational experiences--good for T. who really puts up with a great deal at home (L. can be very controlling) and good for L. who doesn't have to be compared to his more social, extroverted little sister! Let's hope it all works out!

the_tars's picture the_tars

It is SO HARD to make these decisions. We spent our own time agonizing over the kids' schooling for next year. Even when it is made, you still wonder.

vlforman's picture vlforman

Yes, it's true, we always work that balance between what we wish for our kids and what the world gives us. You put this so beautifully. Thank you.

Aliki McElreath's picture Aliki McElreath

Ah yes, that elusive balance. Sometimes I catch sight of it, other times it continues to evade.

Thanks so much, v.