We’re trying to teach K-Man to answer, “Two-and-a-half” to the all-too-frequent question (mostly from strangers) of, “How old is she?” (Yes, because he has longish hair, people assume he’s a little girl. I’m thinking of getting him a T-shirt that says, “Before you say anything, please know that I have a penis.”) Holy crap, the kid is two-and-a-half. Based on the sometimes crazy way he acts these days, I’m surprised he doesn’t answer the “How old are you?” question with “Why? What effing business is that of yours, anyway?”
He really is a little person now. He’s willful. He’s smart. He’s got a definite sense of humor. He has interests. He can have a conversation. He thinks he can read. He likes to surf the Internet. He sometimes wants to skip school. And, he picks out his own clothes. (Proud to say that his favorite shirt is a grey, long-sleeved thing just like his dad's.)
K-Man’s transition from baby to toddler to little man has been somewhat shocking. I know that I’m not alone in feeling this way. I’m sure all parents are amazed by the development of their kid(s). What blows me away is how much the kid seems to learn each and every day. And, now that he’s in school – or some kind of care – five days a week, he’s constantly coming home with new phrases, expressions and actions.
His newest outburst is part willfulness, part petulance and part really annoying. We don’t know where he got it, though we have our hunches. It goes something like this:
Me: K-Man, would you like to go to the park?
K: “No! No! No! No! No! Boom!” (Slams hand against the closest inanimate object.)
I really can’t help but laugh at this. Of course, I know better, so I only laugh on the inside. Dude, all I did was ask if you wanted to go to the park. I didn’t ask you to go to the doctor or something really bad like…take a bath. There’s really no reason for your head to be spinning around and around. I’m not biting, kid. You may be two-and-a-half, but I’m freaking 40! I’ve got years of experience on you. I’ve got wisdom. I’ve got…why the hell are you still crying? You love the park. You don’t want to go to the park? Okay, we don’t have to go to the park. You win.
And, that’s the answer to another question: When is two-and-a-half bigger than 40?
I refuse to give any credence to the idea of the “terrible twos.” Yes, I’m sure they exist. Otherwise, why would the phrase/cliché be so popular? K-Man is just finding his own way. He’s learning that he has an opinion. He just hasn’t learned to deliver that opinion like a human being (instead of like a, you know, right wing, conservative talk show host or ESPN anchor). He just hasn’t yet learned that he doesn’t have to cry, whine and yell to get his way. (Or that acting like that makes him less likely to get his way.)
But, what makes it all the more confounding or amazing is that while he has these moments where he forgets who he is, the rest of the time, he’s just a saint. He is such a loving kid. Doling out “squeezes” (hugs) with reckless abandon. Running up to to his friends (and especially his friends’ moms) to give a kiss. Playing. Jumping. Trying new things: “Did you see that?!?”
Yes, the last month has seen plenty of changes and I’ve been driven to drink like never before. But, at the same time, I’ve never had more fun. How is that possible? I guess that’s just the Life & Times, right?
If you’ll excuse me, I have to go buy K-Man a T-shirt.
He really is a little person now. He’s willful. He’s smart. He’s got a definite sense of humor. He has interests. He can have a conversation. He thinks he can read. He likes to surf the Internet. He sometimes wants to skip school. And, he picks out his own clothes. (Proud to say that his favorite shirt is a grey, long-sleeved thing just like his dad's.)
K-Man’s transition from baby to toddler to little man has been somewhat shocking. I know that I’m not alone in feeling this way. I’m sure all parents are amazed by the development of their kid(s). What blows me away is how much the kid seems to learn each and every day. And, now that he’s in school – or some kind of care – five days a week, he’s constantly coming home with new phrases, expressions and actions.
His newest outburst is part willfulness, part petulance and part really annoying. We don’t know where he got it, though we have our hunches. It goes something like this:
Me: K-Man, would you like to go to the park?
K: “No! No! No! No! No! Boom!” (Slams hand against the closest inanimate object.)
I really can’t help but laugh at this. Of course, I know better, so I only laugh on the inside. Dude, all I did was ask if you wanted to go to the park. I didn’t ask you to go to the doctor or something really bad like…take a bath. There’s really no reason for your head to be spinning around and around. I’m not biting, kid. You may be two-and-a-half, but I’m freaking 40! I’ve got years of experience on you. I’ve got wisdom. I’ve got…why the hell are you still crying? You love the park. You don’t want to go to the park? Okay, we don’t have to go to the park. You win.
And, that’s the answer to another question: When is two-and-a-half bigger than 40?
I refuse to give any credence to the idea of the “terrible twos.” Yes, I’m sure they exist. Otherwise, why would the phrase/cliché be so popular? K-Man is just finding his own way. He’s learning that he has an opinion. He just hasn’t learned to deliver that opinion like a human being (instead of like a, you know, right wing, conservative talk show host or ESPN anchor). He just hasn’t yet learned that he doesn’t have to cry, whine and yell to get his way. (Or that acting like that makes him less likely to get his way.)
But, what makes it all the more confounding or amazing is that while he has these moments where he forgets who he is, the rest of the time, he’s just a saint. He is such a loving kid. Doling out “squeezes” (hugs) with reckless abandon. Running up to to his friends (and especially his friends’ moms) to give a kiss. Playing. Jumping. Trying new things: “Did you see that?!?”
Yes, the last month has seen plenty of changes and I’ve been driven to drink like never before. But, at the same time, I’ve never had more fun. How is that possible? I guess that’s just the Life & Times, right?
If you’ll excuse me, I have to go buy K-Man a T-shirt.
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