A New Perspective on Parenthood (the Movie)

I’ve always liked the movie, Parenthood. Besides it’s killer cast, anchored by Steve Martin, the writing is great (which is what always makes or brakes a movie for me). But, last night, for the first time, I watched Parenthood as an actual parent. Hard to believe that I’ve seen the movie at least 20 times, but never in the last two-and-a-half years. The funny thing is, now that I have a kid, the movie’s not quite as funny. Instead of laughing at Rick Moranis as he teaches his three-year old daughter French, Spanish, the Periodic Table and the history of the world, I felt badly for the kid down the street. Instead of laughing at Steve Martin’s “life on a roller coaster anxiety,” I kind of felt his pain. Instead of laughing at Thomas Hulce, I cringed thinking about someone I know just like him. And, that says nothing of the actual kids in the movie. It just doesn’t seem that funny anymore that Steve Martin’s kid melts down at age 10. Or that his youngest likes to put trashcans on his head and run into walls. I know I’m totally overanalyzing the movie, but you get the idea. The fact is…you just can’t understand until you’re “in it.” There’s a particular scene in the movie when Steve Martin saves the birthday party by playing the part of “Cowboy Gil.” Doing so makes his nervous, anxious, afraid of failure kid a star among his friends. Martin’s character feels like his son’s problems would be healed because of the turn of events. Of course, they aren’t. While K-Man is just a little guy and full of playful energy, big smiles and endless laughter, I still completely understand what Steve Martin’s character was feeling. He simply wanted to fix everything. It’s what we (men/dads) always want to do. And, like most men/dads, we think we can fix things quickly and easily. We never want to admit that there might be more to a problem than meets the eye. We certainly never want to admit that fixing any problems might actually be more complicated than we think. (It’s like asking for directions – “Nah, no reason for that. It’s just up around this corner. Or the next right. Maybe it’s left.”) It’s no secret that the whole “parenting thing” shifts your perspective on…well, everything. I wrote an blog posting once about how parenting makes you view the every day locations that you’ve frequented differently. Where a restaurant maybe used to be cool because they had decent food. Now you go there because it’s “kid friendly.” I used to go to a particular mall because it had stores I liked. Now I go there because it has a fountain and a playground for K-Man. I guess, therefore, it’s only natural that I view movies – or any entertainment – differently. I’m going to relate to different characters than I used to. (Though, I still try really hard to relate to the younger characters, I think. It’s sort of “reverse aspirational” marketing, which is reaching kids who WANT to be teenagers. Marketers can find me by making me want to be 30. Okay….28. I like 28.) Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m losing my sense of humor. That’ll never happen. It’s just that I was taken by surprise that “Parenthood” was affected so dramatically by parenthood. Now that I’m aware of this, I’m sure that the next time I see it – I’ll laugh at that loser kid who runs into walls. (Settle down. I’m kidding.)