Professor Mom

Aliki
Chronicles the life of a mom, teacher, and writer trying to stay sane amid the chaos of daily life.

archives

September 30, 2010
Sick day
I stayed home from work yesterday morning--something I hardly ever do. But since getting sick with the dreaded swine flu last year (it was horrible, truly awful) I've decided that dragging myself to work when I'm not feeling well just isn't worth it to anyone. I used to feel incredibly anxious when contemplating whether or not I should, or could, stay home. What about my students? What about the material we were supposed to cover? How will they get on without me (perfectly fine, as it turns out). Then one morning last year, when I was first feeling the beginnings of the flu, I called my...
Juggling, Moms, Parenting, Work
September 29, 2010
Fresh start
Yesterday Scott and I got up at 5:45, got the kids up at 6:30, took T. to a neighbor-friend's house so she could take her to school, and we drove downtown with L. to have a VIM--Very Important Meeting. For some reason, IEP meetings of this nature always seem to be scheduled for terribly early times--we went to one once that was at 7:15. It's hard to be in a focused, calm, clear frame of mind at that hour of the morning--hard for everyone. Two solid weeks of planning and strategizing went into this meeting. The night before, Scott and I talked long and hard about how to approach the meeting;...
Children, Dads, Moms, No Child Gets Ahead, Parenting, School Daze, Special Needs
September 28, 2010
Questions and answers
Last night, lying in bed next to T., in the dark of her room, she asked me: "Mama, did you always love me?" "Always and always and always," I told her. "Even before I knew you, I loved you." "What do you love about me?" I thought about how best to answer it, this question that would take an eternity to cover. "I love the whole you," I told her. "Every little thing about you, and every big thing, too." She wasn't satisfied. "But WHAT do you love?" "I love your heart and your brain and your smile and your toes," I told her. "But WHAT?" Clearly she wanted something more quantifiable than that,...
Children, Daughters, Mothers, Parenting, Social & Emotional Issues
September 27, 2010
The salamander room
When L. was little, one of his favorite books was The Salamander Room, a sweet story about a little boy who finds a salamander in the woods, and then let's his imagination soar as he imagines ways to turn his bedroom into a fantastical habitat for the small creature. His mother gently talks him out of it, nudging him to think about how the creature would survive, without all nature around it that it needs. It was L.'s favorite books for weeks and weeks--no, for months and months, I think. I've read it to T. several times, and she loves it, too. But a reader's love and connection with certain...
Books, Children, Early Learning, Moms, Parenting, Reading, Social & Emotional Issues
September 24, 2010
Train of thought
I used to hate chick peas, when I was much younger. I can't remember why, or at what point I moved past that and into my current love affair with them. For most of my grown-up years I've loved the chick pea. It's such a simple, unassuming thing really, the chick pea. My kids don't like them at all, though; not even in hummus. I always envy those parents whose children happily dip away at hummus or who will even eat it spread over a cracker, or a triangle of pita bread. Scott and I love chick peas, though. At our house, the pantry is always well-stocked with cans of them. One of my favorite,...
Family, Food for Thought, Greece, Memories, Parenting, Recipes, Vegetarian Cooking, Vegetarianism
September 23, 2010
Moving the mountain
I primarily teach Freshman Composition classes, which primarily involves helping students master basic reading, writing, and critical thinking skills. Over the years, though, I'm finding my class plans expanding to cover more topics--how to write professional e-mails, for instance; how to keep a study calendar; how to organize your time effectively; and, more recently, what to do or not do on social networking sites. I used to stay out of Facebook etiquette discussions with my students beyond advising them to post photos of themselves carefully, in case one day they came back to haunt them....
College Life, College Preparation, Facebook, Parenting, Students, Teaching
September 22, 2010
Marking time
When I posted the link to Monday's piece on my Facebook profile a friend commented that she knew someone who used the jar-and-bead method to help her child countdown days until her dad's return from deployment to Iraq. I thought this was a wonderful and tangible way to help a younger child "see" the passage of time--something so many small children have trouble doing. Her comment reminded me immediately of a countdown calendar we made for L., when he was just barely four years old. I still have the calendar tucked into a keepsake folder containing odds and ends from T.'s surgery when she was...
Children, Early Learning, Parenting, Social & Emotional Issues
September 21, 2010
Ebb and flow
Every September L.'s school organizes a huge fall festival as a fundraiser. We've always appreciated how his school doesn't do those typical fundraisers: door-to-door popcorn sales, or coupon books. Instead, they put on this one festival in the fall, and a huge science festival in the spring. The fall festival has always been a favorite, of course. It features tons of games, "bucket" raffles, and a huge silent auction with lots of enticing gift baskets and prizes to choose from. This year's fall festival was L.'s last as a student at his school; this spring's science celebration will be his...
Children, Dads, Moms, Parenting, School Daze, Special Needs
September 20, 2010
Desire
We have a reward system in place at home, a variation of one we've had for some time now. This one involves glass beads, and an empty jar. I got the idea from T.'s first grade teacher, who uses a similar reward system in her class. When the glass jar is full of beads, the kids get a special treat: a popcorn party, for instance, or popsicles on the playground. We've used reward charts with T. in the past, with success. She's an easy kid to motivate, and she gets pleasure out of doing her household responsibilities, and seeing that chart, or the glass jar, fill up slowly but surely with...
Children, Early Learning, Moms, Parenting, Social & Emotional Issues
September 17, 2010
Perspective, and a pot of soup (take 2)
It's that time of year again. The time of the year when my classes are filled with sniffling, sneezing, coughing students. I've taken to bringing a large jug of hand sanitizer with me to class, and I set this up, next to a gigantic box of tissues, on the desk in front of me. It's amazing how grateful the students are. "Thank you SO much, Professor M.," a stuffed-up student told me yesterday. "I've been using paper towels to blow my nose." And then he sneezed. Right over my folders. ************* This week has been pretty awful--in ways I can't write about. But it's Friday today, and all bad...
Children, Cooking, Food for Thought, Parenting, Students, Teaching
September 16, 2010
Three apologies
I walked with a friend last weekend. We've been trying to walk once every weekend--2-3 miles, in the name of exercise and staying in shape (or getting in shape, as the case may be). I was feeling low and overwhelmed last weekend, and almost didn't go. But one of the perks of our weekly walks is that we get the chance to talk, she and I, mom to mom, woman to woman, about many different things. I need the mental unburdening in some ways, more than I need the physical exercise. But last weekend was her turn to unburden herself to me and I listened, but inside I felt a swelling up of negative...
Moms, Motherhood, Parenting, Social & Emotional Issues, Teaching
September 15, 2010
Brushing battleground
I took the kids to the dentist yesterday. I had taken L. there already a few weeks ago, because he was complaining of a sore tooth. $108 later, it turned out that there was nothing wrong with his tooth--nothing that time wouldn't fix, that is. At that visit, both L. and I got an earful from Dr. D. about good brushing and flossing habits (or lack thereof, in L.'s case). At 10, L. still hasn't had a cavity yet, and in his mind he's doing all the right things. When Dr. D. took me aside to advise/scold me on the condition of L.'s teeth I weakly tried to defend myself. Bedtime has become a...
Children, Dads, Dentist, Moms, Parenting, Special Needs
September 14, 2010
Step one
As part of our vamped up action plan for helping L. out of this terrible downward spiral he's been in so far this fall, we've enrolled him in a tutoring service. This wasn't an easy decision, although teachers at L.'s school have been throwing around the word "tutor" for some time now, as if enlisting the help of one will solve all of our problems. I've been stubborn for awhile about this: if my child isn't getting the individual support and attention he needs at school, why should we then have to pay extra per week in money and time to make up for this? In the end, though, you can only hold...
Learning, Parenting, School Daze, Social & Emotional Issues, Special Needs, Teaching
September 13, 2010
Southern comfort
We've been in North Carolina nine years now, and the place has slowly grown on me, even if the summer climate has not. It did take several years, though, for me to fully appreciate our lives here. And while I'll always consider myself more of a cold-climate, New England-y, northern sort of person, I think I'm at peace with where we are now. There are lots and lots of benefits to where we live, and we've slowly built a good life for ourselves, and are lucky to be surrounded by good friends and neighbors. This weekend we visited with some of those good friends and, instructed by the hostess to...
Children, Cooking, Food for Thought, Recipes
September 10, 2010
No ordinary day
Tomorrow is 9/11. I think, as I do every year: how can it ever be 9/11 again without connecting that day to that unspeakably awful day nine years ago? We might all have dates that stick out in our minds, dates that correspond to the loss of loved ones, but there is no date quite like 9/11--it will remain alive in our collective memories forever. I was talking about 9/11 with my office-mate/friend yesterday and a student who was in our office, taking a make-up quiz, looked up when he heard our conversation. "I was in New York City when it happened," he said. "I was nine." I can't imagine being...
9/11, Childhood, Children, Memories, Parenting
September 9, 2010
The tipping point
After dinner on Tuesday night, T. and I slipped out to walk the dog. This is our special time together, and we soaked up the quiet early evening, searched for figs on a neighbor's tree, and watched a red-winged hawk circle in the sky, high about the road. When we approached home again, though, I could hear raised voices from the driveway, and when I walked into the house I saw an over-turned wooden tray table in the hallway, and papers scattered all over the family room floor. The tension in the house was so palpable--overwhelmingly thick, like a hot and humid night. L. was nowhere to be...
Children, Homework, Parenting, School Daze, Special Needs
September 8, 2010
Walking the line
Yesterday I slipped out of work for an hour and had lunch with T. for the first time since school started. While I can't say I love eating lunch at school cafeterias, I do enjoy some parts of the experience. Seeing T., of course is the best part, and walking with her to the multi-purpose room, her hand in mine. I enjoy talking with the other kids at the table around me--finding out about their big brothers and sisters, or younger siblings, too. Sometimes I can't help myself and I dole out nutrition advice. "Fruit is SO good for you," I told a tall girl across from me, who left her fruit...
Children, Parenting, School Daze, Students, Teaching
September 7, 2010
Safe place
I spent the past week responding to eighty-six (that's 86) letters of introduction written by students in all four sections of my freshman composition classes. I always assign the letter at the beginning of the semester, and I always enjoy reading them--diving into them with gusto at the beginning. Somewhere about halfway through reading the eighty-six papers I am ready to take a break, because eighty-six of anything can be pretty daunting. When I was done grading the letters, and writing my personal comments at the bottom of each last page, I walked around for days after, impressions of my...
Children, Family, Holidays, Memories, Parenting
September 6, 2010
Summer send-off
Today we're traveling back from a weekend away and no sooner will we pull up in our driveway, and unload the car, than I'll have to whip together some type of portable dish for our pool's final end-of-the-season potluck dinner. It really doesn't seem so long ago at all that I was putting together a potluck dish for the Memorial Day picnic at the pool. Summer stretched before us, a parade of empty days, filled with promise. The very first year we moved into our neighborhood we waited and waited with so much anticipation for May to come. We walked to the pool often, and stood there, wondering...
Food for Thought, Holidays, Parenting, Recipes, Summer
September 3, 2010
The calm
I'm reading an absolutely amazing parenting book. I haven't read a parenting book in a long time. There was a time when I devoured them hungrily--back when my kids were younger and I needed ANSWERS! Answers to why L. wouldn't sleep through the night, or T. night-wean, or why L. refused to nurse for more than five minutes, or eat food that was green, or why T. wouldn't potty train early the way ALL girls were supposed to. Then, of course, not long after L. entered school I began reading a couple parenting books a week: books on helping your child succeed in school, books on solving your child'...
Books, Children, Motherhood, Parenting, Reading, School Daze, Social & Emotional Issues
September 1, 2010
All good
I had a good birthday yesterday--low-key and unremarkable--in all the right ways. I went to work, gave my class two extra points on their quizzes (because it was my birthday), picked up the kids, and in the evening we went out for Italian--always my favorite meal to eat out, when it's MY turn to pick. That morning both kids were surprised to find, yet again, that I had no plans to open my presents at 7:00 a.m., take the day off, and lounge in bed with a good book. "I guess when you're a grown-up birthdays are different," T. said wistfully, imagining herself, I'm sure, as a grown-up, one day...
Birthdays, Children, Growing Up Is Hard to Do, Parenting