Professor Mom

Aliki
Chronicles the life of a mom, teacher, and writer trying to stay sane amid the chaos of daily life.

archives

February 29, 2008
The thrill of thrift
I like to shop at thrift stores. I like thrift stores because you can find the most amazing and startling things there--and finding a small treasure amid trash is thrilling. A few weeks ago I found a wonderful robin's-egg-blue vase with a white daisy on it and if I hadn't looked closely at the shelf where it sat I'd have missed it because it was almost hidden by a tacky enormous china rabbit and a broken wire basket. Last winter I found a red plaid thermos that was exactly like the one my mother used to pack into my matching red plaid school lunch box. Holding it in my hands there at the...
Activities for children, Children, Family Entertainment, Shopping, Thrift
February 28, 2008
Done
Yesterday I sat in my third meeting of the week, next to a colleague in another department who is some months pregnant and showing.  Her belly is rounded out just enough so that her sweater stretches taut over the curve of it, and throughout the meeting she kept running her hands over the bump in that characteristic way I found so familiar, and which filled me with a sudden pang of longing.  I don't long to be pregnant again, but I do feel nostalgia from time to time for the pregnant me from some years ago; the pregnant me who used to sit in my graduate school classes, hands...
Babies and Toddlers, Moms, Parenting, Social and Emotional Issues
February 27, 2008
Yet another benefit of being small
Sometimes I feel as if one of my main missions in life these days is to grouch at the people around me about responsibility.  At home both my husband and I are spending more and more time each day trying to curb T.'s newfound love for making messes everywhere she goes.  Be responsible! Don't forget to clean up! We tell her, over and over again until our reminders stop sounding cheerful and instead take on an edgy, nagging tone.  But she's become like Pigpen, trails of mess following her everywhere like a cloud of dust. Coincidentally, the edgier our tone gets, the better she is...
College Preparation, Early Learning, Parenting, Preschoolers, Skill Building
February 26, 2008
Tantrums, and a lesson learned
I'm kind of a stranger to preschooler tantrums.  My son really never threw classic tantrums as a small child (although he has thrown many of a different sort) but T., as an independent and stubborn girl, has thrown her fair share of them. They are often the classic, text-book ones involving a lot of screaming in public places at the most inopportune times and ending with her throwing herself dramatically to the floor, often spread-eagled, sobbing to the world about the injustice of not being allowed to walk across the street by herself, or carry a stack of six library books, or climb up...
Lessons from Little Ones, Parenting, Preschoolers, Skill Building, Social and Emotional Issues
February 25, 2008
Reality check
I had a long, and involved dream on Saturday night.  It was one of those meandering dreams that takes you on a surreal mental journey, through dark and twisty roads, against the backdrop of an unfamiliar and menacing city.  I won't go into the details of the dream, but it involved my son, and a parent's worst nightmare, and even though it all worked itself out in the end, when I woke up I still had that heavy-chested feeling you get when you have been run through the emotional wringer for a prolonged period of time. I don't dream as much as I used to since I became a parent. ...
Children, Parenting, Parenting Advice, School resources, Social and Emotional Issues, Special Needs
February 22, 2008
Role reversals
This past weekend L. had a friend over for a play date.  The weather was gorgeous, temperatures in the upper 60s, so the kids were out in the backyard playing.  I made my way over to the hammock on our back porch, contemplating a brief rest in there while the kids were occupied.  L.'s friend J. saw the hammock and swung it slowly back and forth with his hand, in a contemplative way that is usually quite uncharacteristic of this particular kid. Mrs. M., does L.'s dad take naps in the hammock a lot? He asked, looking at me seriously. No, I answered with a smile.  The...
Children, Dads, Early Learning, Moms, Parenting
February 21, 2008
Visible women
On average, I have more men in my classes most semesters than I do women; many of the young men have beat the odds, some still won't. They laugh, they joke; some work hard, some don't.  Behind them the invisible women in their lives--their mothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, surface from time to time, voices over their shoulders telling them to push on, work hard, and keep their chins up. They are relentless in propelling their boys forward--ever forward--into opportunities they themselves didn't--and couldn't--have. Most of the men (boys?) in my class are first generation...
College Preparation, Education, Moms, Parenting, Skill Building, Teaching, Teenagers
February 20, 2008
Full circle
I don't get much one-on-one time with my son anymore, despite often superhuman efforts to make this happen. Before T. was born he was my buddy; I took him everywhere, even to classes with me sometimes when he had a day off preschool, or wasn't feeling well enough to go to school. He always sat quietly in the back of the class, drawing on paper, or listening to me even  while students snuck amused glances at him and tried hard to win his attention. The last really special walk we had together was the day I went into labor with T., who arrived ten days early. We went for a walk...
Activities for children, Art and Music, Family Activities, Family Entertainment, Parenting, Siblings
February 19, 2008
The muse that comes in the night
A friend asked me over the weekend how I manage to juggle everything I do and find time to write on a daily basis.  She was envious, she told me, of how I carved out blocks of time during the day to write.  But I set her straight right away by telling her that I don't at all have the writing life she imagines: hours to myself holed away in some quiet room of my own (ha--wouldn't that be a dream!). Instead, my thoughts and ideas percolate in my head for hours and days and weeks, even, like sentences scribbled on the backs of receipts and scrap paper until they suddenly come...
Babies and Toddlers, Parenting, Sleep, Social and Emotional Issues, Writing
February 18, 2008
Crafty love
Back in September I signed up to volunteer at T.'s preschool Valentine's Day party and, when the "assignments" were doled out a couple weeks ago, I volunteered to lead the craft.  I like to bake and decorate cookies and cupcakes, but I also enjoy doing crafty things as well and would far rather spend my precious time putting together craft items then baking and frosting a dozen cupcakes.Food is generally under-appreciated by preschoolers; they may ooh and ahh over the frosting but, in the end, they don't truly appreciate the time it took to pipe frosting into intricate designs.  I...
Activities for children, Arts and Crafts, Family Activities, Holidays, Homemade Gifts, School resources
February 14, 2008
Love and chocolates
Yesterday I dragged my sick, coughing, sore-throated self to Target with my daughter, looking for Valentines, of course, for both kids to hand out at their respective parties.  I'm not sure when Valentine's Day became so complicated, really, so much work, but it happened. Now, every year, I start out with grand plans to help the kids put together crafty little homemade Valentines and then, when that doesn't happen soon enough, I end up at the 11th hour at a place like Target, browsing through boxes of cards, some with gimmicky little do-it-yourself add-ons, like pixie sticks you have to...
Dads, Family, Holidays, Marriage, Moms, Social and Emotional Issues
February 13, 2008
Unexpected gifts
It was one of those early mornings; you know, the kind of morning where everything just looks a flat shade of gray, instead of colored and dimensioned as it should be.  I woke up with a sore throat, the kids just couldn't get moving, T. threw herself down on the hallway runner, stark-naked, and in full tantrum mode while I raced around trying to pack school lunches, find an outfit for her, find matching socks for myself. I forgot to kiss my husband goodbye and here it is, almost Valentine's Day. Traffic was heavy, the wind blowing cold and unrelenting as I tried to carry an armload of...
College Preparation, Education, Parenting, School resources, Skill Building, Teaching
February 12, 2008
To sleep
New parents always receive way more unsolicited sleep advice than they ever want or need, I think. For instance, when our son was only one-month old his pediatrician at the time gave us, two brand-new parents, the following advice (and there we were seated in front of her like naughty kids facing the school principal): You can cuddle him and hold him and spoil him now, but once he turns about three months old you need to teach him some independence—particularly with his sleep habits.  I remember we felt so affronted and aghast at the time.  Independence?  Three months? How...
Early Learning, Family, Health, Parenting, Parenting Advice, Skill Building, Sleep, Social and Emotional Issues
February 11, 2008
Milestones
Seven years and some months ago I was sitting on a love seat in our apartment in upstate New York, jiggling L. on my knees.  The sun was shining through the window, bathing us in feeble light, and it was a cold day outside--late November and winter already.  As I jiggled L. up and down and talked and sang to him he answered with wide, gummy grins, wet around the corners, eyes shining up at me.  It was during one of those wide smiles that I saw something was different.  There, on his lower gum, was a white spot!  I peered closer and prodded at it with my pinkie. It was...
Babies and Toddlers, Children, Family, Health, Lessons to Live By, Parenting
February 8, 2008
Decoding teacher-speak
I have a stack of papers to grade this weekend. A large stack. The challenge with grading student writing is, as usual, coming up with just the right words to both encourage the writer to do better but, at the same time, convey my dismay (despair) over the lack of effort put into the assignment. In procrastination mode this afternoon, I'm thinking instead about how much I like to volunteer at my son’s school (they have a very generous open-door policy), and whether or not I can fit in an hour or two there next week. Each time I set foot in L.'s classroom I learn something from the teachers....
Children, Early Learning, Education, Reading and Language Arts, School Daze, Teaching
February 7, 2008
Anatomy of a choice
At my son's school recently there was an incident, involving the theft from the library of a stuffed animal purchased expressly for a school raffle. The perpetrator had been seen hanging around the display case in the morning, and when his backpack was searched, the missing animal was found. To add further to the scandal, this student was not only a second-grader, but a child in L.'s class. The horror! At the walk-up line after school the other day there were many whispered conversations about this. The student's name, C., could be heard on the lips of many of the parents as they relayed...
Children, Education, Lessons from Little Ones, Parenting, School Daze, Skill Building, Social and Emotional Issues
February 6, 2008
The songs that binds us, Part II
Sunday morning I suddenly found myself with one of those rare peaceful moments that occur only when both kids are playing well together--that morning they were in T’s room with her Dora the Explorer dollhouse (not the recalled one--I made absolutely sure our Dora is lead-free). I turned on the stereo in our bedroom, got out my Swiffer, rubber gloves, and assorted other cleaning accessories, and went to work on our room and the master bathroom. Our NPR station plays beautiful music on Sunday mornings. L.'s favorite is the show "Sing for Joy." Many Sundays, like this one, I will wake to find...
Art and Music, Children, Family, Parenting, Social and Emotional Issues
February 5, 2008
Facing Facebook
Yesterday a student from last semester stopped by to say hi and chat a bit. Hey! He told me, smiling broadly. I saw you on Facebook the other day!  I froze. Was I on Facebook? I couldn’t remember. I’m not often there; every few weeks I remember I have an account and I log in, to find someone has left me a cupcake, or invited me to play Scrabulous! the Facebook version of Scrabble. How did he see me? I desperately ran through the possible implications of this: did I have private information on Facebook that I didn’t know about? Photos?Quickly I realized that he hadn’t actually...
College Preparation, Education, Games and Toys, School resources, Teaching, Teenagers
February 4, 2008
The songs that bind us, Part I
Dinner preparation is chaos, usually. Five p.m. is universally recognized by parents to be some type of witching hour, during which kids become possessed by some tiny but fierce inner demons (I imagine them looking like the Mucinex creature), and melt down, whine, cling to legs, and demand unreasonable things; pots boil over, the oven is always too hot, the dog barks at nothing and altogether too many tasks are being crammed into too short a period of time. This has improved somewhat since the kids have gotten older, and since my daughter has grown into liking some of the things my son likes...
Art and Music, Babies and Toddlers, Children, Family Activities, L., Parenting, Sleep
February 1, 2008
Book learning
My husband and I were up late last night discussing Beverly Cleary's well-known children's book character Ramona Quimby and her family. I should clarify and say that we were up late last night discussing our family budget and, found ourselves instead dissecting the Quimby's household budget. We periodically have these late-night discussions; not the optimal time for discussing family finances, but it’s the only time we can have a conversation that’s not interrupted every five seconds by one or both of the kids.I grew up reading about Ramona's escapades as a four-year old, then as an awkward...
Books, Family Activities, Family Finances, Money, Parenting, Reading and Language Arts