Talia's Blog

Talia Rivera
A mother’s life; arrived at from drugs, teen pregnancy, and jail, through faith and gang intervention.

archives

January 30, 2009
What's your secret?
Last week, I spent three days, 26 hours, and 15 minutes in leadership training. On the first day, the trainer asked each of us to write an anonymous secret on a Post-it and stick it on the wall. Throughout each day (as an energizer), one of us was asked to pick a random Post-it off the wall, read it, and then select three of us who he or she believed could have written the secret. Once the three were chosen, the real person was asked to identify his or her self. The exercise allowed me to learn a lot about the other trainees. I learned that they included cooks, certified yoga and massage...
Leadership Training, Secrets
January 29, 2009
Has Technology Become Human Behavior?
The things that are necessity. It is incredible how the times have changed. We went from kerosene lamps, to gas lighting, to “clapping” lights on and off, to doing the same by simply walking into a room. We went from sending a message transmitted by telegraph, to sending and receiving written messages by mobile phone. What happened to the days when we just waited to make a phone call when we got home? What happened to the days when we would talk to build relationships? Has technology modified human behavior to such an extent that people can’t connect without instant messaging? A...
Technology
January 28, 2009
My Daughter's Motivation
I attended a funeral the other day. Two Spanish women and a white woman stood next to the bereaving daughter. As I approached, I realized they were my daughter’s principal, guidance counselor, and teacher. They welcomed me with high regard (this has been happening since my daughter was in kindergarten): “This is Porshai’s mother!” Porshai is a great student and a leader among her peers. “You’re doing an amazing job,” they said. I thought about that flattering remark. Are we doing anything in particular that could be credited with her success? My husband and I began to wonder what our...
Daughters, Motivation
January 27, 2009
Kidnapped!
I sat in my car this morning, parked at a meter, waiting to go into a Marriott Hotel for a breakfast meeting. I was an hour early. I replied to emails as I waited. Suddenly, from the corner of my eye, I noticed a body standing at the passenger side of the car. The door opened! Although my heart was in my throat, I managed to release a sound – it vibrated – “AHHHHH.” Surely this stranger was going to force me to drive to my death. An elderly black woman bent to get into the car, but then – frightened by my “AHHHHH” – realized she was at the wrong car. “I am sorry – wrong car,” she smiled....
Life in General
January 26, 2009
Nanny 911!
"Stop, stop!" Porshai shouts, "Mommy, tell Danny to stop!" "I didn’t do anything," he says. "Get off my balloon before you pop it! Let go, let go! Mommy, tell Danny to let it go." "I didn’t do anything," he pleads. Their high-pitched voices are escalating, just as my headache is ever-increasing. "Sit back and be quiet," I insist. "But Mommy, Mommy, she started it." I turn around and give them the stare--the "Mommy’s mad" stare. They both begin to grin. Somebody please call Nanny 911.
Parenting
January 25, 2009
Hit and Run
A few weeks ago my family and I were driving up Blue Hill Avenue. We took a left turn onto a narrow street with cars parked on both sides of the street. Suddenly, my husband screams, “Oh, NO!” I feel the car lift slightly--we drove over something. “What was that?” I asked. “A cat,” my husband said. My daughter and son, traumatized, turned to look out the rear window; the cat was making an effort, using its hind legs, to crawl towards the curb. We erupt with interrogation. “Why didn’t you stop?” “Didn’t you see the cat?” “Why didn’t you hit the brakes?” After the intense drilling, my...
Accidents, Pets
January 21, 2009
“My heart aches, my heart aches….”
Today I began calling all my boys who remain free. I need to confirm their participation in our Villages Without Walls appreciation dinner on Saturday. Mitch’s phone transferred directly to voice mail, which usually means that his cell is turned off. So I called AJ. AJ answered, “Yeah?” I went through my customary check-in: how are you doing today, did you go to school, did you stay for every class, etc. I asked AJ if he would be participating on Saturday and he said, “Who else?” He paused, then said, “Mitch is locked up.” My chest sank and my heart went despondent. Mitch was scheduled to...
Gangs, Intervention, Villages Without Walls
January 20, 2009
The inauguration
Dudley Square was quiet. The everyday pan-handlers, drug dealers, and addicts weren't on their everyday corner, loitering in front of Dunkin' Donuts. One could hear the streets' silence; few cars passed. Even the lowliest recite OBAMA. President Bush splinters a smile just for the cameras; Vice-President Cheney is sitting comfortably. Michelle Obama is poised and polished like Jackie Kennedy. (I thought about the assassination of JKF for a moment.) The small American flags are shimmering as hundreds of thousands of people await OBAMA. Here he comes. His face, priceless. You sense he is...
Barack Obama, Inauguration
January 16, 2009
Military Firearm
This photograph is of a 38 caliber semi-automatic handgun, a 380 semi-automatic handgun, a 357 handgun revolver, and an automatic Uzi-style machine pistol. What interests me today is the automatic Uzi-style machine pistol. Wikipedia notes, "Uzi is a related family of submachine guns. Smaller variants are considered machine pistols." The first Uzi submachine gun was designed by Uziel Gal in the late 1940s." Wikipedia also lists both current Uzi users (countries like Iran, Israel, Vietnam -- nearly 50 countries) and former users (Rhodesia, Singapore, Poland and the United States -- the Secret...
Gangs, Guns, Violence
January 15, 2009
Alzheimer's
More than 60 years of marriage, of being embraced by your husband, clasped in his arms just like-you-liked; but now you’re frightened by the touch of some strange man, by the feel of an unknown gentleman you spent a lifetime loved by. There is an indescribable heartache for the husband, or for the child who can remember many moments with Mom. But Alzheimer’s lost her memory. The children can remember their tenth birthday party and how mommy used to say the moment it crossed her mind, “I was in labor with you for eight hours.” But not anymore. It’s excruciating for the husband that remembers...
Aging, Alzheimer's, Memory
January 13, 2009
The STD Lie!
Last night I was in the living room trying to read and watch TV at the same time. My 14-year-old daughter was taking a shower. I could hear the water running. After 15 minutes of trying to review six proposals, I gave up and turned full attention to an episode of "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody." My daughter walked into the room and said, "Mommy, I want to ask you something." "What?" I asked. "Uh," she hesitated, "never mind." And she headed for her bedroom. Several seconds later she came back into the living room and repeated herself, "Mommy, I want to ask you something." She paused,...
STDs, Truth and Consequences
January 5, 2009
Thank God
I walked very slowly, taking baby steps, making my way to the curb. I did not want to kiss the concrete; I didn’t want to become intimate with the ground. So I tiptoed over, across, and around the ice. I got to the gate of the fence that cages one of Dudley Square’s ugliest brownstones. Sometimes I am embarrassed to have the keys. I walked up three flights of steps, my daily exercise. I unlocked a door, all the lights were off. I unlocked another door and turned the knob to my office. It was my first day back to work following the New Year. I paused for a moment. The U.S Department of...
Economy, Employment