Professor Mom
Shine on
I'm often, almost daily, reminded of how bogged down in details we grown-ups get. Something happens when we get older, and we lose our ability to see through that small, kaleidoscopic lens that makes up almost the entirety of a child's field of vision. I notice this most often when I'm around T., who sees the world as such a brightly colored, positive, sunny, place. She's my glass-is-always-half-full child, whose spirit refuses to be daunted by mundane setbacks and petty concerns. If we tell her she can't do something because there's no time, or it's impractical (how boring of us!), or we don't have the right materials she'll find a dozen different ways to prove us wrong.
When she's wounded she'll carry that wound deep down, but cover it with good things to help it heal. She's a loyal friend, who comes back again and again to people who maybe haven't been quite as kind to her. She wants to see only the good in people. I love this about her, but I worry, too, because I know that it's not so easy to see the good around you as you get older, and wiser, and that lens cracks and slips and you begin to see the world in different ways. People take advantage of you too if you're like T., and you give yourself too freely. She reminds me of my grandmother, and my sister, too--someone who, like T., steadfastly refuses to see the bad in people.
On Sunday we went to an end-of-year celebration for T.'s Y-Princess tribe. It was a family event--a chance for the other half of the family to see what it's all been about. At the start of the meeting before the potluck dinner, each dad and his daughter said a few words about their experiences with the tribe this past year. I thought back over the year's events, and over how many big milestones T. had crossed--backyard camping, a weekend away with Scott at a REAL camp, lots of day trips, tribe meetings, arts & craft activities, and community service projects, and I wanted to stand up and tell everyone there how grateful I was that T. had been given all those chances to shine, to be herself, and to be appreciated for who she is, and all she can give. I also felt immensely grateful for all that Scott did this year with T. and the tribe--never complaining once about any part of it all, even early-morning risings at the campouts, or meetings on crazy-busy weekends, or Y-Princess-related projects that started out small, but turned into half-day ones, like that bluebird house, which now houses a real, live, bluebird family.
I look at the house--solid, bright, and handmade--everyday on my way to the car and I smile inside, and feel a burst of love and pride for what it symbolizes.







Comments
It sounds like an amazing program. Did you cry?! I always cry at end-of-year programs. In fact, I think I need some sort of intervention. All kinds of things have me tearing up when they involve kids. It is always just so beautiful - their smiles, their innocence, the atmosphere. I wish there was some way to contain that into the puberty years...but I've heard over and over that kids have to go through that experience (the lens cracking and slipping, as you put it) so that they will leave our households. That it's a way to have them grow up into young adults, otherwise we would never separate! Which sometimes doesn't sound so bad to me!
I'm an emotional mess at end-of-year things, too. I didn't cry, but I felt so moved, on so many levels. For us, too, we spend so much time arm-deep in worry/stress/trying to figure out how to help L. get through the year that sometimes we need an end-of-year ceremony like that one so I can step back, get some perspective, and see how much my daughter has grown and flourished.
the y princess program sounds great. is it like scouts but father/daughter?
It is, Christine--it's for 1st graders and 2nd graders. There's a Y-Guides program that's for sons and fathers. I wonder why there's no companion program for sons & moms, though.