Professor Mom

Chronicles the life of a mom, teacher, and writer trying to stay sane amid the chaos of daily life.



chrissygreenny's picture chrissygreenny

this just makes me so angry and sad! poor little T. it also made me realize that mean girls come in all ages. in fact, i have one in my life right now. a passive aggressive and competitive bully who is so oddly obsessed with popularity even as a 40+ year old woman. why can't people learn?

your advice for T.--perfect. she is worthy of so much more than "M" can give.

Aliki McElreath's picture Aliki McElreath

Thanks, Christine. I got a lot of good advice on my FB page when I posted this: some of it was, try and help T. find some friends who are boys, too, as this might help. Also, a friend suggested making sure T. has other friends in other places, which she does. Doing the Y-Princess group with her dad has really helped her. Sometimes, sadly, you just have to move through school, without too many good and true friends, but if you can make friends in other places then this makes up for it.

I know--mean girls, they don't go away when you hit 40.

Omaha Mama's picture Omaha Mama

This makes me angry too. Why do those girls think it's okay to speak that way? I understand that not everyone always likes everyone else (although how anyone could ever dislike a sweet little sprite like T, I have NO idea), but that does not make it okay to speak that way! Did you say anything to the teacher? I just can't understand allowing that type of conversation. How strange.

Being the bigger person and not resorting to that kind of talk is what I tell my B also. And removing yourself from the situation. We have had similar situations (though not to that degree!) and have had to have similar conversations. It's tough to know what to do about it when it is so difficult to understand why it's happening in the first place!

Aliki McElreath's picture Aliki McElreath

The teacher was very frazzled that a.m. getting the kids ready for the field trip. She did hear one of the girls say to me that "M. doesn't like T." and she reprimanded the girl. I jumped in and (privately) pointed out that M. was the one who had originally made the comment, but I'm not sure any action was taken. I did let the teacher know that I didn't want T. and M. to be together for the field trip.

I think all we can do is teach our girls to take the high road. To be kind, and not let mean words hurt them. Then we have to cross our fingers and hope all the other parents are out there doing their jobs, too.