the_tars's picture the_tars

You know, I think the things you listed at the end WILL help them succeed as adults. I believe that those things are the foundation of a happy, healthy life...I think having that foundation helps them discover their goals and gives them the strength to work towards them.

Aliki McElreath's picture Aliki McElreath

I agree--of course I still feel those twinges of "keeping up with Joneses" when I think about what we can't or are not providing for our kids. It's such an unequal world out there--especially where educational choices are concerned.

JohnROSS's picture JohnROSS

Thanks Alyssa, for another of your well written & thoughtful posts.

I'm sure there must be some parents out there who just don't try, who figure their kids will turn out ok, so don't sweat it.

I'm also sure that's a pretty small minority, that most parents try to do everything they can - and then some.

I've known some people who were pushed towards very high standards, only to grow up & have issues accepting themselves or those around them.

It's a question of balance, and not an easy one to find.

Aliki McElreath's picture Aliki McElreath

It is a question of balance--so hard to find and achieve.

Omaha Mama's picture Omaha Mama

I've had a post floating around in my head about this issue too. We get Time Magazine and there was a big article in there also. It angers me, this idea of being the BEST. As if it's okay to be unaccepting of an A-. I'm one of those touchy-feely people who believe in helping kids be individuals and meet their own potential in all areas, while finding one area (or more...) that brings them joy and success. Not everyone can be the BEST. That is a mathmatical impossibility. I'd settle for average kids who are well-adjusted, kind humans over competitive and driven, stressed out kids. As someone who has spent her entire adult life working with people who were born with differences that make them achieve at different levels than others, the whole topic does not sit well with me. I really enjoyed the article you shared about the class differences because wow, that just opens another can of worms, doesn't it?!

Aliki McElreath's picture Aliki McElreath

It does--a pretty large can of worms, if you ask me. I know--I read Chua's original article and felt pain because I have one child who learns so differently and because no amount of threatening and expensive music lessons, and expensive schooling, etc. will mold him into the type of person who is so rewarded in our society. Of course, many of us fall into this category--I won't "succeed" in ways that Chua or her daughters will no doubt, but that's okay because I measure success in different ways.